The self-compassionate caregiver
‘With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same kindness and care we’d give to a good friend.’
Dr. Kristin Neff.
During times of caregiving it is easy to forget about ourselves, our wellbeing and our needs. While we become consumed in the role, we may miss acknowledging the suffering, grief or overwhelm we may be feeling. Consider these ideas to gain greater self-compassion towards yourself and the important role you are responsible for.
Appreciate yourself
Caregiving can be hard. You are juggling different medical appointments while trying to complete daily chores in a timely manner. You may hear yourself pass judgement towards your lack of achievements that day. Appreciate yourself, your situation and the challenges you have faced. Value the role you are carrying out with praise and gratitude. Appreciate your relationships with others and yourself.
Without a doubt, your loved one appreciates everything you are doing for them.
Acceptance of yourself
Caregiving can place you on an emotional rollercoaster; maybe one you’ve never been on before. Accept yourself, your situation and give yourself permission to feel. Respond to your heart, offer kindness and speak with compassion to yourself. Mindfully accept how you are feeling and offer the love you’d share with a friend, in a similar situation.
Ask for help
Showing compassion to another person means you’d offer understanding and kindness. During this time, you are grieving, you may be feeling tired, overwhelmed and possibly underprepared for this important role. Ask for help, seek knowledge from experts, arrange for others to take over from you. Follow through with the ‘let me know what you need’ statement offered from a friend.
An act of kindness can change your day and that of your loved one.
Self-awareness
PositivePsychology.com talks about becoming more self-aware in order to increase self-compassion. Listen to the self-talk, take notice of the internal dialogue that can change. Turn the negative comments around to remind yourself you are doing the best you can. Refrain from criticizing to enhance the supportive talk. Try not to judge yourself too quickly, consider another perspective or seek clarity from a friend. Gaining clarity and perspective can support our awareness of our actions and reactions.
How to be self-compassionate?
Stop and take a breath - deep breaths allow the body to catch up with the mind.
Meditate - focus on connecting the mind and the body. It is a time just for you, to recharge and refocus
Mindfulness activities
Acknowledge what you need at the time, and execute it!
Show patience and be tolerant of your actions which don’t meet ‘your mark’
Treat yourself as you’d treat a friend
Ask for help
Written by Bron Gowty
For more information about wellbeing, caregiving and social and emotional development send Bron an email.
Bron Gowty has been working with children and adults in a clinic setting for over 8 years.
She supports grief and loss, social and emotional wellbeing.